How To Talk Dirty Without Being Awkward

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“Remember that words we hate in a non-sexual context take on a whole different meaning and feeling in sexual relationships,” says Horn. “Part of the thrill is using sort of edgy, boundary-pushing epithets that we can reclaim through sex.” Marin suggests trying to read either already written erotica or what you wrote down out loud to yourself in the mirror. It’s a great exercise in getting comfortable with the vulnerability of vocalizing your desires from the comfort of your own company.

To build anticipation:

Ideally, sex is fun and fulfilling, and acknowledging phrasing that didn’t quite land or titillate as it was intended is one way to take some pressure off and keep things light. “It’s not only okay if there’s laughter during sex, it’s great,” says Harris. “Sex should be playful. I encourage people to stop putting pressure on sex and dirty talk and just giggle.” Role play might make it easier for you to try out dirty talk if it’s something out of your comfort zone. That way you can practice dirty talk phrases and test the waters of how kinky and sexy the two of you can get in the bedroom. Secondly, dirty talking with your partner is incredibly hot and arousing to your man if you do it the right way.

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Never cross the line into coercion-even in dirty talk — do not confuse that with coercion or sexual power play that is clearly asked for and consented as a part of the dirty talk scene,” Hauser states. Dirty talk is any form of sexually charged or explicit speech that is intended to arouse and seduce someone. Within research it is also known as “erotic talk” or “sex talk” and it covers all communications that happen exclusively during sex and about sex. It’s explicit and naughty and sexually charged—which, no matter how progressive we’ve become, are things the remnants of our puritanical society have told us to suppress. Thus, some people may be keen to explore it but come out drawing a blank when it is time to implement it.

• Play with yourself or use a toy, and let a few sexual fantasies take over your mind.
• The use of words, sounds, and noises during sexual activity to give and get consent, instruct, construct a fantasy, build arousal or tension, and ultimately enhance connection between you and your partner(s).
• Remember to keep your significant other’s preferences in mind and tailor these dirty talk examples to fit what they like best.
• She basically never stops talking when she’s having sex, and the result is a stunning stream of consciousness.

“Positive signs include heavy breathing, and if your partner is leaning into you,” Stubbs says. If your partner starts to tense up, or looks a little scared, then it might be a good idea to stop and ask how they’re doing. “If things are really going in the right direction, a two-second break to check in isn’t going to ruin that momentum,” Stubbs says. Even though this conversation seems awkward to bring up, there are easy ways to have it. “The best opener involves taking the focus off of you,” says sexologist Megan Stubbs. “It’s easy to say ‘Hey, I was reading that some women don’t like to dirty talk during sex.

Dirty talk phrases can also help you bring your fantasies to life and invite your partner into them. “Sharing our desires can help strengthen intimate bonds and trust,” says Nugent. Indeed, research has shown that those who communicate pleasure during sex are more likely to experience sexual satisfaction than those who do not communicate. And yet, in the heat of the sexual moment, dirty talk can be arousing for many—that is, if you know what dirty things to say during sex to get you and your partner going (more on that below). Dirty talk is usually thought of as something that occurs during partnered sex, but it can actually occur anytime, anywhere—with or without an audience.

The invention of the smartphone has been a blessing for many reasons, chief among them that it makes setting the stage for dirty talk a lot easier. If you’ve already sexted with your partner (and 74% of Americans say they have), then you already have a pretty good sense of what kind of dirty talk they’re into. Okay, you’re sold on the idea of dirty talk…but how do you get started? By following these simple steps, you’ll be a pro in no time. “You can explore sides of your sexual self you’d otherwise never feel comfortable tapping into if it wasn’t just through language.”

• The intention of erotic talk is generally to generate excitement between one, both or all parties engaged in a sexual interaction, or even to induce orgasm.
• Describe as vividly as you can what’s going on in your own words, zeroing in on exactly what is getting you off.
• I was dripping wet.” Dr. Tara particularly recommends this method as a means of sexting, too.

Maybe you think that talking dirty means acting in a way that isn’t true to your character. Or you’re worried you’ll end up tongue-tied and won’t know what to say. Or perhaps the entire concept of it is just really embarrassing to you. For many people, the thought of talking dirty during sex can be especially daunting. As you can see, dirty talk fantasies are quite common—and there is a very rich psychology behind them.

These are messages you can send before seeing your partner. You can even send a text during a family dinner for a bit of rebel behaviour. Find out how hitting the gym can improve your sexual performance. There’s no denying that the pandemic is creating all sorts of new obstacles for sex and intimacy.

Pay attention and maybe even journal which words, phrases, dynamics, and scenes resonate with you. Describe as vividly as you can what’s going on in your own words, zeroing in on exactly what is getting you off. There’s a whole world of naughty language out there to immerse yourself in for inspiration to help figure out what you like or don’t like. If your partner knows you’re nervous, they can help by being extra encouraging and receptive. And taking that leap in the presence of another person means you trust them. Whether you’re new to all this or just tired of the same rehearsed preamble you’ve been doing for years, these phrases are meant to stir the imagination and provide inspiration.

The biggest hurdle that many lovers experience while trying to talk dirty is initiation. Most couples just don’t know how to start talking dirty. Well firstly, it’s important to note that everyone starts from somewhere and it’s completely natural to feel a little shy when it comes to expressing your desires and fantasies. “I want to reassure people that you don’t need to be a master, and that feeling silly in sex or laughing is sometimes all part of the fun,” says Lovegood.